Sunday, June 5, 2016

If Fate Had A Date!


When you get a premium extra leg room on a long flight, you are instantly reminded of LG’s slogan “Life is good”. Well! I paid a premium to experience that prime feeling. However, when I was about to treasure that short term pleasure, life reminded me that pleasure in any measure will float away like a feather as Casio says “Expect the unexpected”. A baby in the backseat as if rigidly following Harley Davidson’s “American by birth, but Rebel by choice”, felt envious of my pleasure in leisure and began to express it with a deafening cry. The helpless mom trying to be considerate to others, and to herself picked her up, and meandered in to my cherished, premium leg space as if it was Disneyland’s “Happiest place on earth (or was it on flight!).

I had no choice but to retract my reveling limbs from my space of luxury. The cry now transformed into a mocking smirk on that intolerant infant. Mother pleased with her baby’s new found happiness, decided to linger longer than an hour. This procreator, and cry creator combination became an instant inspiration for similar pairs on the flight. One after another began to savor the Shangri-La with my begrudging benevolence. It seemed my premium space had Sony Playstation tag: “live in your world, play in ours”. I was made to sit and feel like McDonald’s “I’m lovin it!”. I could neither evade the charming smile of the child, nor reconcile with the aching recoiled legs of mine. I finally had to settle with Burger King’s way “Have it your Way!”

It was time to enjoy the joy of the ocean. As we landed in the island of seafood, vegetarian like me had sea, but not food! The resort’s chef had personally handpicked several fallen leaves and decoratively arranged them on a tiny plate, sprinkled with drops of dressing. When asked if there was any other variety of vegetarian food, he promised that he would have grass the next day, perhaps coinciding with lawn mowing tonight, I thought. Having had not so yummies in our tummies, we decided to venture out to see the creatures of the coral world. After forfeiting my biweekly paycheck for the entrance fees, we zoomed in to the coral park. We were then asked to buy some honey to feed the lorikeets. We gladly obliged, and eagerly awaited to satiate the culinary needs of this lorikeet. None came. Environmentalist excitedly informed that if they are not hungry, they wouldn’t feed. We waited. Having had only leaves for lunch, the honey was very tempting. Neither birds would have it, nor we could have it. I wished we were standing at the back of the crowd, so that we could cherish the nectar, which was looking like a loaf of meat for a hungry lion. Social constraints lead to extreme self-restraint.

We then proceeded to the turtle feeding. We didn’t realize that they ate carrots, broccoli etc. it seemed they had a better vegetarian menu than ourselves in the resort. I offered with the pretext to feed the not so hungry turtles. However, the staff showed no interest thus depriving me of the option to satisfy my growling stomach. Interestingly, I saw a couple with some enticing vegetarian snack trying to feed the beastly looking Iguanas. Out of sheer curiosity combined with bare necessity, I approached the couple and enquired where did they get it? The naïve couple couldn’t remember the place or the name, much to my chagrin. But, offered the delicious dissert to me. My face gleamed, my appetite beamed until my esteemed couple screamed “please, feel free to feed the iguanas”. I glanced at them as gloom began to bloom, and muttered “of course, thank you”.

As we boarded our long flight back, we couldn’t carry food from the airport, as it was too small to have any vegetarian options. We were happy to see the cheese platter on the flight menu. We asked for platter, and water, and attendant thought it will make us fatter and gave us the latter to shatter the prospect of eating any veggie matter. I asked for peanuts, she explained to me the cost cuts. My initial hope was great, but as fate had its date, I was left without a plate, and continued my hunger state.