Sunday, March 31, 2019

What Man Proposes Bank Disposes With Bonus



Whether you are married or not, it doesn’t matter. You just need money. That’s where the banks come into play. The banks are very generous; Of course, with your money. Once (decades ago) I wrote a check for $970, and my bank seemed very liberal in the payout. They extrapolated their collective view that $0 in your account has no value and added that 0 to my $970 and issued $9,700 to the already rich landlord company. Since my account did not have sufficient balance to meet their generosity, they kindly froze my account and imposed overdraft fees.

As if this is not enough of a headache for my bald head, my cellphone check that also arrived that day for clearance bounced for lack of funds. The carrier was not happier as my bank set up a barrier for me to pay the dime on time and hence put me off-line. To add salt to the injuries, my credit card check for $980 also bounced for the same reason. The credit card company tried to reach me; I believe, but alas my cellphone had no service. If the credit (card) cannot debit (your account) it will edit your score and discredit your card. I was at a gas station, and my credit card was denied. I had $11 in my wallet, which was enough to buy some chocolate but won’t be enough for filling the tank. I went into the gas station to use the ATM to withdraw, and I had the shock of my life as I had no funds, and they digitally informed that I couldn’t withdraw even one-digit currency! I was 40 miles away to buy furniture at an outlet shop on sale.

I could hardly buy 2 gallons of gas, due to my credit impasse. As a fellow in neonatology, I rarely believed in astrology but felt I should have checked out numerology at least. Moreover, It was unclear how my dear $8,000 could queerly disappear. After I reached home, I realized that cellphone service was turned off rather than lacked the signal. As it was a weekend, the bank was closed in the afternoon, and I couldn’t contact them until Monday. I had to spend the rest of the weekend trying to comprehend and talking to a friend as to what he would recommend!

When I finally reached my bank, they graciously informed me that the dot after 970 was not distinct, and hence the confusion. I asked them why did they not give 97,000 instead of being miserly with $9700 if the dot was indistinct! The teller felt terribly sorry for underpaying the landlord and called the branch manager, who read the amount written in words on the check for a long time as if English was his fifth language and placed his sympathetic hand on my shoulder to announce poignantly that the landlord should return my money. When I cornered him that it was their fault, and they should put back money in my account, he looked clueless and gently asked me from which account I was asking him to transfer the money! It appeared the bank’s generosity towards the business customers equals their atrocity towards the individual customers! After I threatened that I would inform the FBI about this bank fraud, the general manager rushed to sort things out.

It took me ten days to get things straightened out. However, in the meantime, my credit rating took a hit for failing to pay the bills on time. The bank which sank my account to blank, and shrank my credit score to tank, sent a note to thank and to rank their service as swank. I thought it was a prank!