Parody, and Dance.

A Theme Park In The Midair!

A Mid Air Theme Park

 

It was time to revel in the wedding festivities again. As my niece was getting married, we were excited and began to look for competitive airfares to India. This newer airlines, with which we had no previous experience, had an enticing pricing. Nothing else mattered, except the tickets for the three. They even offered exit row seats just for your bi-weekly paycheck! A deal we couldn’t refuse, as we were eager to be fresh when we arrived after 20 hours of flight time.

The check-in was a breeze, and the security did not displease. As we placed our luggage in the overhead bins, we began to settle in our ordained seats. Am I adipose? No airlines has ever made me feel this way I suppose! I began to doubt my body frame and my BMI of 22? Is it the slice of pizza I ate a month ago causing this? Or may be it was my Scott Evest, I thought filled with gadgets. I took off the evest. Yet, the same feeling persisted. I may have to take off my pants to fit in snuggly! Though, it was desirable, but may be unbearable for others. It was a level four pushup exercise to free yourself from the skin-tight seat. My arms were stronger by the end of the journey. These seats seemed to compensate for seat belt non-compliance, I thought.

I have seen many companies vying for movie theme toys to please their customers. However, this airlines went up a notch and incorporated a movie theme to entertain their passengers. After waiting, which seemed long like an uncut Benhur movie, I finally got a chance to use the toilet. I quickly realized that you have to be a Spider Man to accomplish the purpose of your visit. The whole floor was wet. It was difficult to discern if it was the result of aimless target practice of the previous human or just plain water. I just couldn’t take the chance. I had to take the support of the faucet and the side wall, and raise myself with my already stronger arms (now I understood why they made seats as tiny they are) and place my feet on the side panels, and balance myself and execute the job with utmost precision. I profusely thanked the airlines for such a personable experience. May be people should carry long poles to walk on in to this spider man theme park in midair!

A stride back to my seat was no solace either. The guy behind my seat kept tapping my seat hysterically to the extent that I had to turn back and ask him if he needed my attention. He felt ashamed to have woken up a Spiderman! I have heard of interactive movies, but never really comprehended. The tiny smudged tv screen in the front provided such an unique experience. When you choose a movie after several taps, it begins with an advertisement. The movie begins and freezes. You had to tap the screen several times to restart the movie. It kept me busy to interact with the screen to keep the movie going. It is possible that my ashamed co-passenger might have had a mature scene freeze with his son ogling at it leading to his frantic banging on the screen to wake up this freshly trained Spiderman.

As I was attempting another peaceful nap, a flight attendant came to ask me if I needed something to drink. I was not sure what the Spiderman drank normally. After a prolonged ponder, I asked for a mango juice and water. She confirmed that I wanted “wother”. I affirmed and said “water”. She reaffirmed and said she would get me “mongo and VOTHER”. I was at a loss, but appreciated. She came back promptly after half an hour with a glass of juice, which looked like mango juice. There was no glass of water. Hoping that she would bring it later, I sipped the MONGO juice imposter. It was very bitter and disgusting. I immediately asked her, if the juice was spoiled and fermented as it was very bitter. Then she said it may be due to WOTHkER. I was confused as I heard a different pronunciation each time. She then showed me the VODKA (Wother or Wothker), which I believe she decided I wanted it sub consciously. She went above and beyond her call of duty (probably the airline motto!), and decided to serve him more than he asked for. I am a congenital teetotaler and this lady wanted to give it a damn break.  I had to purify myself. I had no other choice but to visit the only theme park with unlimited number of free passes.