It was time for yet another vacation, albeit the first one
for this year. After much haggling and scratching the bald head, we decided to
go to a beach city on a strip of a land in the ocean. We decided to avoid the
most popular parts of the beach for the sake of quietness and enjoy the nature
without the need for threadbare dressing. After all, we have packed our bags
with clothes, and why not put them to use.
However, it appears the purist nudists are lobbying the
airlines to charge those who believe in covering themselves. They penalize you
for extra clothes for extra length of stay with higher second baggage fee. We
find no resistance forthcoming from the government even. Hotels are actually
cheaper, where Adam and Eve roam, and more expensive if you cling to the
strings. It’s a double whammy! Not only the clothes are costly, you are
chastised for carrying them too. Since, it was too far to drive, we flew paying
the retribution. This unholy nexus should be bared, I thought! But, how can we
expose those, who are already exposed? That’s a naked dilemma!
Finally, we reached the most expensive part of the city and
drove to our likeminded resort. There were plenty of leaves, yet, everyone preferred
cotton to cover. We felt at home, and were mesmerized by the amazing ocean
views from our room. Beautiful nature baring before us, we could not resist any
longer. We stepped out of the resort to walk on the beautiful beach. We were
greeted by the sign- There is no life guard on duty, which meant-if you dive,
you die. It struck me that I did not write my “Will” yet. Without a will, I had
no will to step in to the willful waters. I have only one life to guard, oh
God, there is no life guard here. Basically, resort people were anti-nudists, I
thought. They seemed to have felt, if they provided a life-guard, people may be
tempted to wear their birthday-suits rather than bathing suits.
I was provided with a beach lounge chair with canopy for
ample shade, least my dark skin may get tanned. We were the most well-dressed
couple on the beach, thanks to our two extra bags of garments, we painfully
paid penalty for. I was carefully relaxing and enjoying the unguarded ocean.
Whereas, my wife unmindful of her dress or absence of life-guard jumped in to
the waters. She began to have a treat with the tides. She looked around and
found me missing the fun with whoopee waves. Innocently, she began to request
me to take the dangerous plunge. She was so insistently persistent, others
around were inspired to throw me in to the bare ocean. Sensing the imminent
sacrifice, I gently stepped in to the warm waters of Atlantic.
Walking in to the lobby, it became apparent that English was
a foreign language here. Suddenly, I felt as if I had drifted off to a French
or a Dutch island while asleep. I had an eerie thought- should I have brought
my passport? Actually, this stirred me to speak in my mother tongue freely.
Energized by the wave currents, we proceeded to the upscale mall barely 100
yards from our resort. We decided to buy something nice to commemorate
anti-nudist stance, we all believed in.
As we walked in to one of the upscale brand shops, we
noticed customer service was busy putting up a sign- 70% off for a wrinkled
cotton polo shirt, which is now just a mere $245 after the whopping discount. Are
purist naturalists influencing the garment industry as well? Or, this
exorbitantly extortionate expense pushed them to more au-naturel dressing! The
dilemma for us was- to bare or to wear!! The customer service was completely
oblivious to our presence. Either it was our bewilderment at the bankrupting
bill beetling before us making us potential non-buyers, or, we could be wearing
invisible cloaks, and she could not see us. Scared that we may have to sell our
neighbor’s house as well to purchase decent clothing for our family, we
hurriedly left the shop.
We saw some of the finest dream cars entering the mall
premises. They were so beautiful and yet so depressing. As we reached the
pedestrian crossing, we saw a young mother who was trying to cross with a baby in
her stroller. She had stilettos and had poignant ramp walk like stride. Soon, a
mesmerizing Maserati began to meander in her direction. It never slowed and
maintained its speed to cross before the equally stylish mother. As it
approached dangerously close, the lady shed her sophisticated style and
stilettos and sprung like a skillful Olympic sprinter letting out a shrill
shriek. The majestic Maserati continued its unperturbed serene sojourn. Before,
we could recover from this horrendous happening, a royal Rolls Royce began to
roll towards an old couple. Before Olympic spirit could spring in them, a
policeman jumped in front of the royal beast like a superman to move the old
couple to safety. The driver however, maintained his dispassion and the
automobile its aplomb. It was obvious that neither the countess nor the couple were
adorning invisible cloaks, as policeman could see and intervene. Since, none of
the motorists were unruffled, it appeared to us that these deadly dream
machines are so engineered that the blind spots could be in the front, unlike
in our peasant cars. You have to be super rich to be in one of these cars and a
superman to be in their front! Whether you pay fair fare for what you wear or
stare at the bare, no one may care. But, these blind spots, you better be
aware!
