Chakra pe Bakra aka Suma to Sumo-Final

Whew! We all settled down and drove calmly to our next fortuity-the mini boat tour. These are small air filled 13’ boats and only 4 people can ride at any time. I had seen the pictures on the web; it was very exciting and a new kind of sport. I saw people riding them in calm back waters of the ocean. Fun filled activity I thought and booked the tour in advance paid the charges in full. I wanted this to be a pleasant surprise for my family.

It was blistering hot and the ride in the ocean should cool us down, I thought. There were five groups of fun seeking fanatics. The main leader gave us inspiring speech praising us for selecting this one and only kind of ADVENTURE. Yes, he stressed- it is an adventure as we would go in the real ocean to two different islands for snorkeling. You got it right, real turbulent ocean and not the calm back waters, as I originally envisioned. Besides, this surly surprise, I noticed that there were only two leaders and we were 5 groups. As I was trying to comprehend the impending calamity, the leader’s announcement enhanced my bemusement. He declared that I am the captain of my boat and will be driving my family in to the ocean. I thought I would be a rider and not a driver myself! Money was non refundable besides my prestige was at stake, if I backed out. It was a blissful blithe for my kids and astounding astonishment for me. One man’s pleasure is other man’s pressure.

The other groups were elated and my fears were unabated! The leader zoomed past us in to the open seas and I followed. Oh Shoots! I don’t know swimming-the harsh truth dawned upon me in the middle of the sojourn. I am a driver but, will I be a survivor? As we proceeded, it was titillation for others and trepidation for me. As time went by, I got used to the waves, the distress regressed, and I wore a smile after a while. We snorkeled and it was phenomenal. We ventured out to the second island. Just then a storm system was approaching us very fast. The leader declared that if we stopped at the second island, we could be struck for the whole night and hence, we should rush back to the main land.

The ocean became choppy because of the storm. If I went slowly, I could be caught in the middle of the ferocious winds and may make it to the obituary column. I had no choice, my family lives were in my hands. I used the full throttle, the waves were humongous, and the boat was whammed from all directions by the rough sea. As the boat was thrashed, my back was bashed. Should I have worn a diaper, a thought just flashed! Boat was repeatedly tossed in to the air and would come down with a huge thud. The impact was so enormous it broke my daughter’s seat. We were falling from a height of at least 6-10feet constantly and consistently and my back took the brunt of the impact.

We reached the land finally. I could barely walk and the pain was intolerable. The medications I had gave little relief and a unanimous decision was made to send me to get a massage at the Chakra spa of the resort. The spa receptionist added perplexity to my predicament. Do you need a male or a female therapist? I never faced such a tough question in my life. It was a double edged sword. A dialogue specially scripted for me, I pondered. If I say, man, would they think that I am a homosexual and if I answered female, do they think I have a passion for perversion? Why should my life be a perplexing byzantine enigma? I wanted to pull my hair. That was a more difficult task to perform than answering her contentious and controversy generating question! I cleared my throat but, what should I say?

I wish Radha was by my side and she would have saved me from this quandary. I asked who is more experienced. I thought, I had found a great solution to the problem. However, the receptionist was very diplomatic and did not divulge the truth to make things more intricate and prolong my torture. But, I had a reprieve, when she said, which time you want. I picked 10am for the massage. It was open and I took it. I was curious, who was the therapist. It was a woman. Well, like a loyal husband, I conveyed the same to Radha. She was not amused that another woman was going to touch my body.

She started her prayers on the beach.

I went the next day to the Chakra spa. I was seated in a small but beautifully decorated room. “Good morning sir, please meet your massage therapist”, a pleasant voice greeted me and shut the door locked. I shyly turned my head and looked at her. What! Is this chakra or Vishnu Chakra! (a deadly weapon in Indian mythology). Am I punished? Did Radha talk to the receptionist and arrange this? I was like a rat beside a great cat. Her hair style was like a Sumo wrestler. I may be puny but not loony! I was expecting suma maina (delicate, soft) maalish not SUMO mardhana (violent bashing). I stood like a lamb (bakra) before the sacrifice (Chakra pe Bakra!) and there was not even a window to escape! It was a non-refundable commitment or was it atonement! It seemed that she was specially hired for me and was flown from Japan. Can I have a No-Touch Technique massage? I begged. Radha’s prayers were answered!